


Lady In Gray

by PinkBossMusic



Category: Descendants (Disney Movies), The Isle of the Lost Series - Melissa de la Cruz
Genre: Billie Eilish Songs, F/F, F/M, Genderswap, Inspired by Music, M/M, Multi, Signer/Songwriter, Singer Carlos, Slow Build, jaylos
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-01
Updated: 2019-01-30
Packaged: 2019-06-19 20:48:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15518283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PinkBossMusic/pseuds/PinkBossMusic
Summary: Mal and Evie are both happily dating Ben, the newly crowned King of Auradon. Jay is excelling on the Tourney field as well as with other ROAR programs. And Carlos? Carlos is struggling to find her place. After quitting Tourney in favor of studying, Carlos finds herself longing for something she thought she left on the Isle: her love of singing. She creates an alias that she can use to upload her songs onto a popular website. As her music starts to gain more attention, she struggles to keep her identity a secret. Will she be able to sneak by unnoticed, or will her lyrics give her away?





	1. Isn't it Lovely

Ominous ticking echoed through the room, the stress levels radiating from the students could be felt in every inch of the school building. It was almost eerie to hear the class so silent, Carlos was used to it being her noisiest period. However, she wasn’t complaining, she found that the silence allowed her to focus easily. Nor was she too surprised, the teacher was very strict when it came to testing, and she was willing to bet that many students desperately needed to pass this test.

 

As she flipped to the final page in the packet, she began second-guessing all the answers she just gave. What if #25 was really 3+6i, not 6-3i? Was she sure that the hypotenuse of triangle three was 47? Shaking her head she focused on the last question, the dreaded bonus question. Sure, it was optional, but you had to be stupid not to at least try and figure it out, you always need the extra points, **always**. The problem was it’s always the hardest question on the test, and it was never on something they had learned before. But as Carlos read the question, she realized it was about the very topic she had been assigned for their presentations last week. She blasted through the problem and began double, triple, and quadruple checking her answers.

 

Sucking in a deep breath, she rose from her seat, slinking towards the front to hand it in. She was pretty sure she didn’t let out that breath until she was out of the class. Pushing her headphones up from around her neck and back to their rightful place on her ears, she fished her phone out of her pocket, shuffling her playlist. Checking the time, she had approximately 15 minutes before lunch officially started.

 

Making her way outside to the usual table, she found herself thinking over everything that had happened in the past month. Evie and Doug had announced their breakup, through Doug still helped him with his fashion line: Four Hearts. Not long after, Ben, Mal, and Evie began dating, it went over as well as you can imagine. A few of the older Kings and Queens were horrified, while other’s treated them like any other couple. Despite the rumors going around, they are as happy as they have ever been and stood up for each other when faced with criticism.

 

Meanwhile, Jay’s been fantastic with Tourney and Swords & Shields. Many have even started looking past her Isle origins and treat her like any other player on the field. It was awesome to see her going so far in something she genuinely loved.

 

On the flip side, Carlos was slowly sinking into the shadows. Most people ignore her in favor of her friends. It isn't like she wasn’t used to this type of treatment, but a part of her had hoped that she would have found her place in Auradon, just like the other VKs.

 

She sighed as she opened her laptop, getting ready to work on a paper for Goodness. However, a bark was all the warning she got before something furry climbed into her lap and blocked her view of the computer.

 

“Dude!” She laughed as Dude licked her face, “I know, I’ve missed you too, buddy, but I have work to do.”

 

Dude yipped as she climbed off of Carlos’s lap. Carlos gave her a few quick pets before turning back to her computer. Apparently, when Dude jumped onto her lap, she also hit a few of the keys and sent her to a random website. She was about to click off when bolded words caught her eye, “A Place for Aspiring Musicians and Music Enthusiasts Alike.”

 

Tune Cloud, she was fairly sure she had heard some of her classmates talking about this site before. You could upload music to the site and anyone could listen. Carlos briefly thought about her cousin Diego and her band, the Bad Apples. She missed them a lot, they had been one of her few outs on the Isle, her escape from reality. She remembers how Diego had asked her to sing for them, but they had all agreed she wasn’t right for the band. When she sang, her voice was too “Auradon” sounding and didn’t match the band’s vibe. However, that didn’t stop Diego from asking her to sing more, they all agreed she had a great voice, too great to be stuck on the Isle. She used to spend way too much time helping them come up with lyrics and even writing a few songs herself. A smile crept onto her face as she remembered how they held a mini-concert for her in secret, allowing her to sing the very first song she ever wrote.

 

***

 

_“Come on, Carlos. I’ve already told you it’s not bad, it’s really good,” Diego tried to coax her out from the corner._

 

_“Yeah, we all really want to hear you sing again,” Hadie agreed._

 

_“Plus Claudine worked really hard to make sure he could play the instrumental parts just the way you wrote it.”_

 

_Carlos turned to look at her cousin, “But it was just something I wrote on a whim, I didn’t think I’d have to perform it.”_

 

_“Come on, I’ll be right there with you. It’s a duet remember.”_

 

_Carlos shoved her playfully, “I wrote it, idiot.”_

 

_“Then sing it with me,” Diego held out her hand._

 

_Carlos looked at it skeptically before taking it. The rest of the Bad Apples cheered as Diego brought her up to the two chairs they had set up in front of their instruments. She took a shaky breath as Claudine grab his violin, Carlos didn’t even want to know where they found one of those here or why they even bothered grabbing it in the first place._

 

 _Diego gave her a reassuring smile, before she nodded towards Claudine, telling him he could start playing. Carlos tried to ignore the overwhelming feeling of pride as the light music filled the room._ _She took another deep breath before letting the words that she slaved over for nights pour out._

 

_“Thought I found a way,_

_Thought I found a way, yeah.”_

_“Found”_

_“But you never go away.”_

_“Never go away”_

_“ **So I guess I gotta stay now.** ” _

 

_“ **Oh, I hope someday I’ll make it out of here,**_

****

**_Even if it takes all night or a hundred years,_ **

****

**_Need a place to hide, but I can’t find one near,_ **

****

**_Wanna feel alive, outside I can’t fight my fear._** _”_

****

 

****

_“Isn’t it lovely, all alone?_

****

_Heart made of glass, my mind of stone,_

****

**_Tear me to pieces, skin and bone,_ **

****

**_Hello, welcome home."_ **

********

********

 

****

_“Wakin’ out of town,_

****

_Lookin’ for a better place.”_

****

_“Lookin for a better place.”_

****

_“_ **_Something’s on my mind,_ **

****

**_Always in my headspace."_** __

****

 

****

_****_**_"But I know someday I’ll make it out of here,_ **

****

**_Even if it takes all night or a hundred years,_ **

****

**_Need a place to hide, but I can’t find one near,_ **

****

**_Wanna feel alive, outside I can’t fight my fear."_** __

****

 

****

_“Isn’t it lovely, all alone?_

****

_Heart made of glass, my mind of stone,_

****

**_Tear me to pieces, skin and bone,_ **

****

**_Hello, welcome home."_**

****

 

****

_Together they hummed the chorus up until the last line._

****

 

****

_“_ **_Hello, welcome home._ ** _”_

****

 

****

_“Woah,” Hermie’s jaw remained dropped._

****

 

****

_“I’ve said it once, I’ll say it again, Carlos, you have the voice of an actual angle,” Claudine praised._

****

 

****

_“Again,” Hadie cried, “Encore. You’ve gotta write more songs.”_

****

 

****

_Carlos blushed, “Thanks guys.”_

****

 

****

_“Oh, I never asked you. What did you title it?” Diego asked._

****

 

****

_“Lovely. I thought it would be a little ironic, such a sad song being a synonym of beauty.”_

****

 

****

_“That is clever,” Claudine packed up his instrument._

****

 

****

_“Let’s go to the Slop Shop to celebrate,” Diego jumped up, pull Carlos with her. The other’s quickly followed, laughing as Carlos protested the entire way._

****

 

****

***

****

 

****

It was one of her fondest memories of the Isle. Though, now that she thinks back on it, it was a good thing she never sang with them at one of their gigs. She didn’t even feel comfortable singing in front of them, let alone a crowd of strangers.

****

 

****

Her mouse hovered over the “Create an Account” button before she inevitably moved to exit the tab. She faltered when Dude whimpered next to her.

****

 

****

“Look, it very nice that you think I have a nice voice, but I couldn’t, I don’t even have the equipment to make a good song,” Dude gave her a look before curling up beside her.

****

 

****

She sighed, “Fine, I’ll bookmark it.”

****

 

****

Quickly saving the website, before opening up her paper, she gave her hands a stretch before beginning to type.

****

 

****

“Hey Carlos,” She jumped as Doug slid onto the bench across from her. She gave her a sheepish smile, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

****

 

****

Carlos shook her head, “It’s fine, I just didn’t hear you.”

****

 

****

“Are the others not here yet?”

****

 

****

“Nope, you’re the first one to show up, which is weird, since you’re usually one of the last.”

****

 

****

“I have somewhere to be, so I have to eat fast.”

****

 

****

“Oh?”

****

 

****

“Yeah, the Music Building just renovated its recording room, and all Band members have to go help with some final touches.”

****

 

****

Carlos stopped typing, “We have a recording room?”

****

 

****

Doug nodded, “Yeah, but it’s only accessible to Chorus and Band students.”

****

 

****

Dude barked, happily wagging her tail. Carlos through back to Tune Cloud, having a recording room would definitely help and she was in need of a distraction.

****

 

****

“Interesting,” The words fell from her mouth as she continued to think things over.

****

 

****

Doug checked the time on her phone, “Shoot, I gotta go. See you later Carlos.”

****

 

****

Carlos gave a wave as she tried to concentrate on her paper, but found that her old songwriting mindset had already switched on.

****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a random idea that I had in the shower. I also haven't seen any Genderswapped Descendants fanfics but noticed that people were also kind of asking for it, so I thought, huh, why not? Plus I fell in love with Billie Eilish songs recently and I thought it would be a good idea to combine two of my obsessions. Also, feel free to look up any of the songs used in this, since they'll all be by her, plus it will give you an idea of how Carlos's voice sounds.


	2. All Alone

Anyone who’s an artist or a writer knows how frustrating it is to stare at a blank paper. When you have either so many ideas or none at all, hindering you from filling the page with something, anything. Carlos hated blank pages, whenever she found herself in front of them, she instantly felt a wave of dread rush through her. Staring down at an empty paper was very intimidating, to say the least.

 

Carlos tapped her pencil against her paper as if trying to will words to appear. Of course, that wasn’t going to work, but she could try her damned hardest. Maybe she was just thinking about everything the wrong way; after all, whenever she wrote songs on the Isle, they were always on the sadder side of the spectrum. Now, here she was in Auradon, practically the land of happiness, trying to write songs again. It wasn’t that she didn’t think it was possible for her to write happy songs, it was just that she wasn’t feeling too great at the moment. Ultimately, the reason she even decided to start writing again was that she wasn’t happy. Thus creating a frustrating situation, which just brings her back to the blank paper.

 

With a sigh, she fell back against her bed. Dude whined at her feet.

 

“I know, Dude, but it’s harder than it looks.”

 

She closed her eyes and allowed herself to focus on the noises of the room. The faint sound of Dude’s breath hitting her notebook, the crackling fire that there was really no reason for, people walking by through the halls, the sound of a voice that entered through the open window next to her bed, and the ticking clock hanging off the wall. All of which were peaceful sounds that she had grown accustomed to hearing. All of which should have given her some form of comfort. But yet a part of her still ached. Her brain quickly supplying her with the fact that Dude was the only person she had spoken to all day. Not even the lunch ladies had gotten a peep out of her, just a small smile. She wasn’t exactly sure what her friends were doing, but she had fairly good guesses. Evie was working on his newest designs, Ben was probably stuck in a meeting, Mal was either also in that meeting or sketching quietly next to Evie, and Jay was either at Tourney practice or talking to Lonnie. While Carlos sat here, alone. Well, not completely alone, but still craving human company. 

 

The troubling thing was, she was used to being alone; isolation was a comforting feeling. Usually, when she wrote she preferred to be left alone, so the whole situation was a strange one. 

 

She sat up, opening her eyes, before deciding to close her notebook and try again later. Just as she was putting her notebook back in her bag, her door swung open. She jumped as it hit the wall.

 

“Oops,” Jay chucked her Tourney equipment onto her bed before closing the door, “Hey Carlos.”

 

“Hey, did you guys just finish?”

 

“Yeah, I talked to Lonnie for a bit. He said Jane wants to have a little “get together” type of thing later this week. He figures everyone’s been busy lately and could use a break, plus we haven’t hung out altogether in a while.” 

 

Carlos averted her eyes as Jay swapped her Tourney jersey for a red tank top, “Sounds cool.”

 

Jay turned to her, “You’ll go, right? I mean, I know you feel weird because Jane has a crush on you, but still, it’ll be fun.”

 

“Of course I’ll go. I mean, what else am I going to do?”

 

“I don’t know. You usually have some kinda nerdy stuff.”

 

Carlos cocked her brow, “Oh really. Like what?”

 

“Like,” Jay looked off, motioning with her hands, “inventing things or fixing things, homework.”

 

“And these things would prevent me from hanging out with my friends?”

 

“Don’t be difficult. I was just making sure you could go,” Jay flopped down on her bed, staring up at the ceiling, “So, how’ve you been lately?” 

 

“Fine,” Carlos ran her hand through Dude’s fur.

 

“No,” Jay sat up, “I mean, anything new? I feel like we haven’t spoken a lot lately.”

 

Carlos gave her a shrug before turning back to Dude. Jay rolled her eyes, before getting up.

 

“Move over,” She shoved Carlos’s shoulder, who simply chuckled and shuffled closer to Dude.

 

Jay sat cross-legged, “So, you want to talk about anything?”

 

“You’re terrible at talking about emotions,” Carlos pointed out.

 

“But I can listen,” Carlos narrowed her eyes at her. 

 

“A little bit?” When she was only met with a scowl, she held her hands up in surrender, “Okay, but still, you good?”

 

“Yeah. I’ve just got a lot of stuff on my mind.”

 

Jay nodded, “You sure?”

 

“Yes, Jay.”

 

“You sure you’re sure?”

 

“Jay,” Carlos whined, only for Jay to laugh at her.

 

“I’m just making sure.”

 

A silence fell around them again and Carlos half expected Jay to get off her bed, but instead, she leaned back, propping her head against her pillows. 

 

“Do you wanna go somewhere?”

 

“Hmm?” Carlos frowned, not quite sure if she heard her right.

 

“You, me, somewhere.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Just because.”

 

“Where do you want to go?”

 

“Anywhere you want.”

 

“How about we just stay here? I don’t really want to go anywhere,” Carlos didn’t know why, but she was content with just sitting in their room for the rest of the day.

 

“Fine by me,” Jay sat back up, swinging her arm around Carlos’s shoulders, “Anything you want to do or would you rather sit in silence?”

 

“Umm, could we play that Sugar Rush game?” Carlos batted her eyes, knowing that Jay was already internally groaning.

 

“Why are you so obsessed with that game?” Jay begrudgingly got off the bed.

 

“Because you suck at it.”

 

“Hey,” Jay spun around, “I don’t suck at anything, I’ve just decided to let you win every time.” 

 

Carlos rolled her eyes, “Yeah, whatever you say.”

 

Carlos enjoyed days like this. The rare moments that they could just hang out like they use to. She might not want to be alone right now, but she would happily remain all alone with Jay over anyone else any day.


	3. Heart Made of Glass

Everything was running smoothly. Carlos jotted down a few more words before closing her notebook. Currently, she was seated at a table in the library. Her original plan of studying flew out the window when her eyes landed on her writing notebook. She was slowly getting into the groove of jotting down random thoughts and different things that people said or did. As creepy as that may seem, Carlos figured it might be useful later. For example, Mal had taught her the word “sus” the other day, which was basically someone who’s shady.

She glanced at each of the tables. Most were empty, but a few students were busy typing away at laptops or scribbling down notes and others were searching the aisles for a book that they know is in here somewhere.

Carlos checked the time on her phone, she was supposed to be going to a new bakery at opened up close to campus with Jay after she finished Tourney practice. Practice was just about to end which gave her just enough time to get there and not have to wait around for Jay to finish up in the locker room; the girl didn’t know the meaning of a quick shower.

She gathered her things and headed out of the library. Jay was the one who had heard about the bakery. The name was something simple, either Lovable Bakery or Love’s Bakery. Jay had said she overheard some of her teammates say that their strawberry cheesecakes were awesome and their triple chocolate cakes were to die for.

When Jay had asked her if she wanted to go she had been so excited. Not only because she would get to hang out with her, but also because Jay has been unknowingly helping her come up with ideas. Jay’s a great inspiration, she makes Carlos feel all bubbly and warm and cozy and just overall content inside. She just couldn’t wait to try all the sweets with her, and they’ll laugh and have a great time. It’ll be perfect.

Carlos had a slight skip to her step as she hummed a tune to herself. She had been trying to figure out a melody for her song. Even though she has decided on what to write about, she figured it would be easier if she set the tone of the song first.

She smiled, blissfully watching birds fly by as she walked. She was just so excited that she could hardly contain herself. She supposed it was due to the fact that she had basically not been anywhere other than her classes and her dorm for a while.

As she neared the Tourney Field, her eyes scanned the different players for Jay. When she finally spotted the brown haired girl in question, her smile widened and she headed straight towards her. However, her smile faltered when she noticed that she seemed deep in conversation with Lonnie. She was currently laughing at something the boy had said. Carlos told herself not to worry about it, Jay was going to be hanging out with her today; not that it really mattered either way.

“Hey Jay. Ready to go?”

Jay turned to her and smiled, “Yeah, we’re all ready to go.”

“I wonder what kind of pastries they’ll have,” Lonnie said, “I heard they have melon and honeydew bread.”

Confusion flashed across Carlos’s face before quickly vanishing, but Jay noticed, “Oh, you don’t mind if Lonnie comes with us, right?”

“Yeah. No, totally. No problem. I don’t mind at all. The more the merrier right?” Jay seemed content with that answer.

As they walked to the bakery, Jay and Lonnie kept going between talking about what they were going to eat and Tourney. Carlos didn’t bother listening, she just focused on the ground in front of her.

Even when they were sitting at a table outside the bakery, the two seemed to barely pay any attention to her as she picked at the slice of chocolate cake in front of her. She wasn’t hungry anymore and the cake really wasn’t worth all the fuss, though she assumed it would have tasted better under different circumstances.

She placed the cake back in the little box the bakery provided. She turned her attention to the two in front of her. Jay seemed happy in Lonnie’s company. Carlos knew she was supposed to be happy that Jay was making more friends. Jay was growing accustomed to Auradon just like Mal and Evie. Carlos should be happy for them. But she wasn’t.

“I’m going to head back, I have homework to finish,” Carlos stood up.

“I can come with you if you want,” Jay offered.

“No, it’s fine. You two have fun,” Carlos gave a reassuring smile before she began the long walk to her dorm.

She felt like she had been punched in the stomach. It felt like someone had grabbed a hold of her heart and was squeezing it. She felt broken and she didn’t know why. Sure, being ignored hurt, but never like this; this felt like something entirely different.

The empty feeling didn’t disappear when she reached the dorms. It didn’t disappear when the door shut behind her. It didn’t disappear when Dude followed her to her bed with a confused tilt to her head. It didn’t disappear when she hit her bed. And it certainly didn’t disappear when she curled up under her covers and let out tears that she still couldn’t understand.

Why did it matter so much? Why did any of it matter? Why did she care that Jay invited Lonnie along? Why had she been looking forward to it so much? Why couldn’t feelings be easy to understand? Why hasn't someone figured out an equation for them yet? Or at least an algorithm to weed through all the different possibilities.

Carlos didn’t understand any of it, but she wanted to. She wanted to understand so badly. Because the feelings that had been eating her away were getting stronger and taking a hold of voices she had hoped to have left on the Isle. And while maybe she didn’t fully understand why it was happening, she knew that very soon, it would become something that no one could fix.


End file.
